The short question is this. How can we as parents encourage our parents to be more equitable in their treatment of their grandchildren?
As background here is my situation. When my wife and I got married, we had made the decision that we weren't going to have children. This was devastating to my mother who really (read really really really) wanted to have grandchildren. Independent of her wished, a few years later we decided to try and our first son came along who is now 7. Grandma immediately bonded with him, showering him with love and attention (and stuff). Four years later our second boy came along (now 2 1/2 y.o.) and while grandma loves him, she is still very bonded to our oldest.
Up until now, it hasn't been a big deal because the baby hasn't had the mental maturity to understand the differences in their relationships but his behavior of late has indicated that he is starting to notice something... or at least wanting more.
An example would be something like recently we had made arrangements for grandma to spend the afternoon/evening with the toddler and then when they came back she was going to take the older one home for a sleep over. On the day of, she decided that she would take both boys for the afternoon and then keep the oldest one for sleep over. Ostensibly she says it's to give my wife and I some time alone, but my observation is that she often includes the older one in the time planned with the younger, but rarely (if ever I can think) alters plans with the older one to include the younger.
So what can I do to encourage her to spend time and develop a relationship with my younger son?
Should I point out what I observe or how I interpret her interactions?
Am I making too much out of nothing? Do I need to get over it?