3 year old child acting out for some reason

Question

My 3 year old daughter has been great up until now. She continues to pretend she isn't capable of going to the restroom and is peeing everywhere for some reason. She keeps saying "I can't do it" when we tell her to do something.

She all started acted out when her father(ex to my girlfriends) came over. At first she got in a bad mood when getting the news of him coming over and was being bad. I don't know if his coming over is causing a bad affect to her. This ex has left a bad impression on them both I think which is why they left because the situation was bad.

I don't know what the heck is going on. She was a sweet heart and would listen, now it just all backwards. The daughter really loves me and always asks for me. I wonder if it could be she is acting our because I am not there, but I am unsure.

Answer 1

First off, your daughter is still great. The worth of a child is not measured by their behavior.

I can't address the peeing with the information provided. Is she potty trained already? Is she in Pull-Ups?

If she's refusing to obey you, for whatever reason, I have a hard time believing it's the first time. Regardless, the solution is discipline. If she won't pick up her toys, for example, then there should be an immediate negative consequence. Such a consequence as a timeout, turning off the TV if it's on, removing whatever else she is playing with until the job is done, etc. Likewise, positive encouragement should be used simultaneously. "Please pick up your toys from the floor so I have room to sit down and play with you/read you a book." Ideally, the positive encouragement is all you'll need, supposing the incentive matches your daughter's interests.

Often, children will exhibit behavior they know we don't approve of simply because it's the only way they can consistently get our attention. Give her more attention, spend more time on her level (including physically getting down to her height), and direct her to the behavior you want with her (and not as someone giving commands at her).

Answer 2

When kids feel under pressure it's common for them to regress to acting like a younger age. At 3 they very much live in a world of emotions, so even how you are behaving or when you are stressed they can sense this.

Like @tomas said it seems like she's wanting your attention or the attention of her father (but we need more details as your info here was a little unclear).

When young children are acting up it usually falls into a couple of camps.

1) They are tired/hungry and just need to be fed/put to bed.

2) They are testing boundaries

3) They are dealing with emotions

When they are doing No 2 you need to be more clear on boundaries (eg stricter) when they are doing No 3 you need to focus on warmth and connection and showing them they are safe.